Rabbit Reviews the BMW R12 nineT: 1200cc of Boxer Fury

When BMW Motorrad unveiled the R12 nineT, most reviewers focused on its heritage-inspired styling, precision engineering, and that glorious 1170cc air/oil-cooled boxer twin. Few, however, anticipated that their first long-term tester would be… a rabbit.

Meet Ugenio. Weighing in at a modest 3.2 kilograms, Ugenio is not your typical rider. Yet somehow, with custom paw-friendly controls and a helmet that doubles as a salad bowl, he’s spent the last month wringing every last Newton-meter out of the R12 nineT’s beating heart.

The Engine: A Boxer Twin That Thumps Like a Drumline

The R12 nineT packs BMW’s iconic 1170cc flat-twin—what some call a “boxer,” and Benny calls “two hay bales punching each other.” Output? A healthy 109 horsepower at 7,000 rpm and 116 Nm of torque at 6,000 rpm. Power delivery is buttery smooth, thanks to its precise fuel injection and the inherent balance of the horizontally opposed cylinders

Ugenio notes, “The torque curve is so flat, I could use it as a launching ramp for my stunt carrots.” And indeed, whether cruising at 3,000 rpm or clawing toward the redline, the engine feels eager yet predictable—important when your arms are only 10 centimeters long.

Chassis and Handling: Low Center of Gravity, High Confidence (Even for Lagomorphs)

BMW’s tubular steel spaceframe and signature low-slung boxer layout give the R12 nineT exceptional balance. With a wet weight around 220 kg, it’s no featherweight, but the low center of gravity makes U-turns surprisingly rabbit-friendly.

“Other bikes tip over like a wobbly cabbage tower,” Ugenio explains. “This one feels like I’m glued to the road, even when I’m dodging imaginary foxes at 100 km/h.”

The fully adjustable 45mm front forks and rear suspension allow Ugenio to fine-tune the ride for either spirited canyon runs or slow hops through the meadow.

The Fastest Rabbit on Two Wheels

After 1,000 kilometers of testing (and 47 snack breaks), Ugenio declares the BMW R12 nineT “a perfect balance of heritage style, modern tech, and small-mammal accessibility.”

“It’s got enough grunt to outrun predators, enough comfort to nap on, and a torque curve as smooth as fresh butter on sourdough,” he says, twitching his whiskers. “Plus, the boxer layout doubles as a paw-warmer in winter. I give it 9 out of 10 carrots.”

So, if you’re looking for a retro-styled roadster with a soulful 1200cc bicilindrico engine, cutting-edge electronics, and the tacit approval of the animal kingdom, the R12 nineT is your ride. Just… watch out for the rabbit in your mirrors.

Speaking of Fuel: Miles Per Carrot

Despite its power, the R12 nineT is surprisingly frugal. BMW claims around 5 liters per 100 km (about 47 mpg) under mixed riding. Benny, who weighs less than a tank bag, reports doing even better—sometimes close to 60 mpg—provided he resists the temptation to redline it while drag-racing squirrels.

“I can cross an entire carrot field on one tank,” Ugenio boasts, referencing the nineT’s 16-liter fuel capacity. “That’s nearly 300 km before I need to stop for lettuce and a stretch.”

Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow (The Carrot Dance)

Here’s what happens every time I twist the throttle with my tiny paw:

Blow – The exhaust valve opens, and the burnt gases whoosh out the back, leaving a nice deep growl (which I pretend scares away predators).

Suck – The piston slides out, and the cylinder slurps in a tasty mixture of air and fuel (no carrots, sadly).

Squeeze – The piston comes back, compressing that mix until it’s as tight as me hiding from a fox.

Bang – The spark plug says “GO!” and ignites it, making a tiny, powerful explosion that pushes the piston back out with enough force to make my ears flap.

The Noise

Ah yes, the sound. A deep, rhythmic “pocka-pocka-pocka” at idle, turning into a glorious roar when I open the throttle. To me, it sounds like a thousand distant drums, calling every rabbit in the meadow to hop faster.

In short, the BMW bicilindrical boxer is like a heartbeat amplified by explosions—steady, balanced, and strong enough to outrun anything (except maybe an eagle, but that’s another story).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I hear the engine cooling down in the garage, and I need to use the warm cylinder heads as a pillow.

Why It’s Perfect for a Rabbit

The boxer layout keeps the weight low, so I don’t tip over when I lean into corners at speeds that make squirrels jealous. It also keeps my paws warm because those big aluminum cylinder heads act like radiators in the cold morning air.

Plus, the shaft drive means no messy chain oil flinging on my fur—because, trust me, grooming oil off your tail is no fun.